7 more Twitter profile picture types get roasted

This post is a curmudgeonly continuation of this one from @TremendousNews. I just had to get in on the fun…

So here we have, seven MORE types of profile images on Twitter.

1) The ‘Glamour shot’


Look at her. Her posture - confident and bold. Her eyes - challenging the camera. Her pink suede blazer and blouse - dangerously unbuttoned. You had better follow her, or she will change to her baby blue blazer and MAKE you follow her.

2) The ‘Sunglasses Pic’, AKA, ‘Just because I partake in Social Media does not mean you deserve to see my eyes’

This one is a mystery to me. Unless it is absolutely the best picture of yourself you have access to, you should never use the sunglasses pic for any profile. I find it hard to trust people in these types of pics. If they are hiding their eyes, they are probably also hiding other, more devious secrets.

3) The ‘Hand on Face’ Pic

It’s a classic. From yearbook photos to headshots, the hand on face pic has earned its place in history. If you do not immediately follow all the people you see striking this classic pose, they will begin to peer in your windows, hands on face, demanding a reason.

4) The “I have Photoshop but I haven’t quite mastered it’ Pic

Applying random Photoshop filters does not equal artistry. Look at your end result, people. You look more like mutated radiation victims than interesting professionals. Here’s a tip: Imagine what you want the end result to look like, and work toward it. I mean, there’s just no way that @mnassal followed that procedure for his pic…unless he wanted to look like he was painted by a 7-year-old on acid.

5) The ‘Rotated’ Pic

My normal picture? BORING. My rotated picture? Profile worthy.

Is there any better way to express your singular personality and quirkiness than the rotated pic? Yeah. There is. But, none are as easy as el Rotato.

6) The ‘No Look’ Pic

Yes, you may look upon my face. No, I will not return your gaze.

7) The ‘Black and White = Artistic’ Pic

How do you take a boring picture and turn it into a profile pic worthy of accolades? You turn it black and white, that’s how. Like every teenage girl with her first camera taking pictures of her feet in black and white and hanging them (crookedly) on her wall, you are officially an artist when you remove color from a picture. INSTANT gravitas.

Thanks to @Tremendous news for the inspirado!